the 2nd big impact cometh!

eternity, what are thee?

nothing's eternal: first kiss, first love, second love, money, school, heavy metal, chachu's omlete pav, gajju bhai's chai tapri, garden bar, street bar, building compound bar, under-construction building bar, daaku and the jugaad company, bandya's chechu, vikas's girly voice, Tani's first cry, mangroves - once home to thousands of migratory birds, now called charkop, torn jeans, painted jeans, painted bags, painted t-shirts, long hair, school friends, college friends, area friends, friends' friends, girl friends, noni, danny mc gill, tasmin archer, Ovi's hugs...

would you get married or tattooed instead?

“Get married,” said my mom, notwithstanding the fact that my golden years are not yet over. Golden years of bachelorhood, golden years of FREEDOM! But all good things come to an end, and those that haven’t, will. Tomorrow’s another day, but today’s mine. And I shall not share it with anyone; someone who’s so permanent. Yes, permanence is the word I dread most. I’m no celebrity after all, to whom marriage is just another tuxedo. I’m no child of the west, where marriages end more often than one receives the monthly pay cheque.

Marriage! It’s quasi tattoo! Only, tattoos pain in the beginning, and then lasts forever to remind you constantly of that pain through a colourful mosaic of a scar it leaves behind. NO! I can’t live with something so permanent. “But you have already lived half your life, what now remains is the fading bit,” said my friend, the third eye.

Ummm! Now that sucks. The third eye never lies. Tattoos and marriages are going to be a part of my fading remainder, and a permanent reminder of my own impermanence! “Ok, Mom, go find me a girl, while I go get myself tattooed!”

she turns 5 on jan 5

today's my niece's birthday. she'll turn all of five and i wonder what she thinks about it. i'm sure she gives a damn about the number 5 anyways. i know, i was five once, and i never gave a damn about it too. but it was then. today, even as the clock ticks with its usual zest, i feel like a candle melting away into oblivion. it's not the oblivion i'm scared of, nor is it the consistent, unstoppable, irrevocable melting doom; it's the fucking clock that never stops laughing at the dying cells of my decaying, rotting makeshift body. u thought the traffic was loud? try listening to the intimidating, metronomish tick tock of the clock. in its every tick and tock, you are reminded of your helplessness: YOU ARE LIFE LIMITED!

it's my niece's 5th bday today...and i'm all excited. i've to buy a nice gift for her 5th birthday. wonder what is the best gift for the 5th birthday? damn, i never thought about it. but she gives a damn about the number 5 anyways...so why bother about the perfect gift for the 5th birthday? any gift, i'm sure, would add to her excitement.

al-righty then...ho to tani!

when you go right, things can go wrong

my knee opened like an infant's mouth and my head closed like bombay's railway ticket counter. the vermillion thickly flowed down my shin, staining strands of hair that stood helplessly in its way. i saw greenday fly, singing 'Time of your Life', and crash landing on the rough tar; there was stampede of thoughts in my head. like crabs, each thought grabbed the one before and dragged it behind; nothing coherent formed within my temples.

"i swear, i didn't do anything wrong. i was only going towards the right," said my friend in a voice that stoutly denied his claim. 'how can things go wrong, when one goes right?', i wondered. it was clear my friend did not intend to carry the can for things going wrong, as he went right. "forget it," i said.

look, a dead horse...or, wait a minute, is it our honda splayed like a dead horse on the tar? then i realised how right my friend was...he was so right that the biker who happend to ram us from behind had no room on the road to pass us. Moments later, we found him wriggling out of dried grass that flanked the porvorim road; yes we were on our way to the saturday night market at arpora.

coming back to this interesting slice of life, I knew this man had not punted us accidentally on purpose. I knew he was high on feni. I knew things could have gone more wrong. I knew my friend was right. But I knew this man was far more right.

I offered a helping hand to this man...